That I still must cross
As I'm going on my journey though I might be lost
And there's a road I have to follow, a place I have to go
Well no one told me just how to get there
But when I get there I know
Cause I'm taking it step by step, bit by bit, stone by stone,
Brick by brick, step by step, day by day, mile by mile
And this old road is rough and ruined, so many dangers along the way,
So many burdens might fall upon me, so many troubles that I have to face
But I won't let my spirit fail me, I won't let my spirit go
Until I get to my destination I'm gonna take it slow because I'm makin it
I know you're hurtin, and I know you're blue, but don't let the bad things get to you...
Things seem to build up, layer upon layer upon layer, and it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. I find myself pulled into the worry about tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that. As I head out to run on this perfect fall day, I hope that 6 or 7 miles will clear my head and renew my spirit.
I tackle a few hills and let my mind and body meander through the streets of Newton, ogling over the big Victorian houses and pristine gardens and wondering who lives in these mansions and what their lives are like. I run up and down hilly sidestreets, pushing myself up the vertical roads and reminding myself that what goes up usually comes down. As I've learned from a few hilariously grueling races, what goes up doesn't always come down... The houses provide a pretty distraction and a scenic backdrop for my wandering thoughts.
The usual assortment of music is on my ipod and it keeps me going, running through Newton, Brighton, Chestnut Hill, and Brookline. And then Whitney Houston comes on as I am trudging up what feels like the biggest motherfucking hill in the city. Step by step, bit by bit, stone by stone, brick by brick, step by step, day by day, mile by mile. And it occurs to me that this mantra is so appropriate for not only today's run, but my life right now. So much is beyond my control and uncertain. So many things are unknown. How far can I go? How fast can I get there? What lies ahead? How will things work out? And what can I do? The few things that are within my control, I aim to do my best. And the rest...in the wise words of another one of my musical idols, Kenny Rogers, "You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run." With running, as with life, there is only so much I can control. I can push myself and challenge myself and accept that my course will get tough - maybe tougher than I am prepared for at times - but beyond that, the rest is up to something far greater than myself.
So that's all I can do. Step by step, mile by mile. Don't get too caught up in the future, for it may or may not look anything like I expect. Don't fear the hills, for I will get up them somehow, even if I have to walk.
Twelve miles later I arrive at my front door step, energized by this perspective and the chance to take it step by step. Sometimes that takes you further than you ever imagined possible.