My running buddy never showed up this morning, and in a way I was grateful because it allowed me the solitude of running alone. There's been so much on my mind the past few weeks and months that the prospect of making small talk before 6 a.m. wasn't all that attractive, and being released from this obligation gave me a sense of relief.
The sun was rising - glowing, burning orange - and the sky was clearing as I headed up Washington Street towards Brighton Center. It felt so incredibly good to be running outside in the fresh air, still damp from yesterday's rain. I settled into my rhythm quickly and let myself get absorbed by my music and the sounds of my neighborhood waking up.
I ran up Chestnut Hill Ave. and around Comm. Ave, letting sidestreets pull me in and allowing myself to discover or rediscover places I've overlooked. I eventually returned to my favorite run up Comm. Ave and past BC, but this time it was different. Although I've been running this route for a few years, this morning was the first time I had that distinct feeling of belonging to it as much as it belongs to me. Running by STM was almost a little emotional, and I was reminded that this is the place that is about to change the direction of my life. This is the place where I will spend many days and possibly many nights, and the place where my new career will be shaped, directed, and made real. My life is changing. It has taken me over ten years to make this decision and to make it happen, but now it's finally happening. Although I'm still somewhat in a state of disbelief, the journey I am about to begin just feels right. It's been a long time since anything felt that way.
I continued past BC and ran up one of my favorite sidestreets, a nice, big tree-lined hill with beautiful homes and an impressive view of Boston. It felt good to push myself, and it felt even better to crunch over the wet gravel and pine needles at the very end of the hill, where the dead-end street tapers off into conservation land. I ran briefly into the woods, inhaling the clean air and feeling perfectly peaceful, strong, and refreshed.
As Spring has made its much-awaited arrival to Boston, it has finally come to my life, too. As signs of life become visible in our natural surroundings, they are appearing in my heart and mind as well. I have been dormant and, in several respects, hopeless, for a long time. Getting admitted to STM has reawakened my hopes. Good things happen, life moves forward, positive changes will come if we are patient. I try to remind myself that this applies to all aspects of my life, as I'm still waiting on another decision, but for now...one thing at a time.
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